Motivation

Here lately me and my husband stay quite busy; whether it be from spending time with family and friends, taking care of some things of our own, working, crafting, creating, and the list could go on, but like most adults that is what life is and becomes right?

I guess this all hit me when I did not realize how busy I had become until I told a friend of mine who wanted to see me one day coming up that I could not and the next free day I had was like two or three weeks away, so basically I had to pencil her into my life. I could not spur of the moment see her like she was needing or wanting, I then felt unreliable. This is a characteristic I strive to have but how can I be reliable if I cannot be there for others when that last minute moment arrives. This has happened often here lately and makes me feel pretty terrible afterwards.

While contemplating over this issue and the need I then began to look at everything I do in a week, each week and each day and wondered why?

I used to be motivated and have a drive as to why I do what I do but now I feel I am just going with the motion. Doing as expected, as planned, a day-to-day life routine. I see me losing motivation in my schoolwork, in my writing, in the crafting I used to love to do, and wondered what my motivation before was and why has it disappeared on me now.

Sharing these thoughts only with my husband he has his own ideas as to why, but I am not sure I agree. I realize when completing a task or working on something or even if it is meant to be relaxing I just watch the clock counting the minutes that go by, that I am wasting when I should be doing something else or could, counting down the time thinking to myself “man I have to get up and do this something in less than an hour” which then time moves by even faster.

I am not happy to say I have lost my appreciation and motivation, but just curious as to why. I crafted, wrote, paint, etc. because I liked it, I looked forward to the outcome and the final product. I now realize I lost focus on these important factors somewhere along the way and see now I am trying to do stuff for others. To have them adore the final product and see the meaning of it that I put into instead of just being happy with it. I am doing as everyone one else wants me to do or what I think they expect of me and not just doing what I want and loved. Then that feels selfish when I put it that way and so I begin to think can it been done both ways?

I just know this is something I am having to work on and remain working on. Strange as it may sound my motivation used to be my dogs. When it was just them two and only me taking care of them. Making sure I did all I could to give them a good home, a home I brought them into, and become a good dog parent, that I did my best to make sure they were fed and loved and cared about. I mean they still are my motivation today along with my other two furbabies and of course now my husband but yet still feels different.

I would like to hear from you, what motivates you and how do you keep that motivation?